Healthy self-esteem: number 1 predictor of personal happiness
We all want to happy, aren’t we? Personal happiness is a worthwhile and meaningful goal to pursue in our life. So how do we achieve personal happiness? I am glad you asked - the answer is to have healthy self-esteem.
I’ll break down self-esteem a little bit to make this concept easier to grasp.
Two fundamental components of healthy self-esteem are: self-efficacy (I can in the face of life’s challenges) and self-respect (I am worthy of love and happiness).
Self-Efficacy:
What is: Self-efficacy refers to the belief in your ability to accomplish tasks and achieve goals. It is our confidence in our ability to work and earn a living, and it is also our confidence in our ability to form friendship & intimate relationships with respect and love.
Why important: It provides you with a sense of control and mastery over your lives, which is critical to personal happiness and mental well-being.
Roots: Self-efficacy can stem from a supportive and rational home environment, with our personal determination to overcome challenges.
Impact: Low self-efficacy may result in discomfort with the unknown and reluctance to embrace new opportunities, while higher self-efficacy facilitates adaptation and growth.
Self-Respect:
What is: Self-respect involves recognizing one's own worth, deservingness of happiness, and the conviction of one's own value. With healthy self-respect, you believe that you are worthwhile and good, and that your happiness and personal fulfillment are important enough to work for.
Why important: It leads to the expectation of friendship, love, and happiness as natural outcomes of who you are and what you do.
Roots: If you are treated with respect by parents, family members, school and society, you are more likely to develop self-respect.
Note: To optimize personal happiness and fulfillment, you need to trust and love yourself based on realistic self-assessment rather than fantasy.
I hope the breakdown of self-esteem makes it clearer why we all need to develop healthy self-esteem to appreciate personal happiness. As you can see, cultivating both self-efficacy and self-respect is essential for you to navigate life's challenges with confidence, develop resilience, and have a sense of worthiness.
For example, you might have a high achieving professional who excels at work & feels competent, but if you don’t believe that you have the right to be happy, you will feel the need to continually prove your worth through more achievement. In short, you don’t know how to enjoy your own achievement and struggle to be happy and peaceful.
Only with healthy self-esteem, we could pursue their goals, enjoy achievements, and foster meaningful relationships grounded in mutual respect and appreciation.
My name is Wenjia, as a highly skilled and empathetic therapist, I specialize in supporting exhausted adults who struggle with low self-esteem/people pleasing/co-dependency/perfectionism. My goal is to help you develop a positive view of yourself and thrive in a more fulfilling life.